Thank you for all of your kind words and support on yesterday’s post. I was not expecting so many responses. I thought the usual 10 of you might comment and a few more, but so many of you taking the time to say something was incredibly kind. I am so sorry that so many of you have had horrible experiences of assault and harassment, and it infuriates me that this is the world we live in. And now our highest forms of government have given the big ol’ stamp of approval to that behavior. If you have not watched “A Scary Time” by Lynzy Lab Stewart, then I highly recommend giving it a quick watch.
The only worry I have for boys is that they will grow up to hurt others. Men have a higher chance of being falsely accused of robbery than rape. I could not be less worried about this. And as Lynzy notes in her song, their reputation is on the line. Not their life. Christine Blasey Ford cannot even return home because of the death threats. I cannot even count the number of times my reputation has been trashed because of really stupid insignificant crap like wearing something too short or being too loud or drinking too much or not going to church enough or using SWEAR WORDS or just plain old BS gossip. Get some backbone, dudes. Women live in a world in which our reputation is constantly slandered.
There are also consequences for false allegations. I work closely with our Title IX office which handles reports of sexual misconduct, harassment, and assault. We do get false allegations, and it does not take long for them to figure that out. More often, we get reports of sexual assault that we find to be credible and true, but there is not enough evidence to actually prosecute anyone. The burden of proof is on the victim. They have to prove it. And, as demonstrated by Dr. Ford, that can be almost impossible.
We can suspend the perpetrator or kick them out of school, but they can simply move and enroll elsewhere. Those records are not sent to the new school. Brock Turner can go back to college and do this again. Someone will accept him. His family has the money. Sure, he spent a few months in jail and he cannot swim professionally, but I can guarantee he will be just fine. Just like Brett Kavanaugh. Brett is just fine.
So, when I say I am not worried for boys, it is not because I do not care about boys. I do care. I care that boys grow up to treat other people like humans, respect their boundaries, and to take rejection without murdering someone. My worry about boys is for their coping skills, their ability to express and handle their emotions, and for their respect of other bodies. So, when men can get a handle on their behavior and stop abusing, harassing, and assaulting others, then maybe I will be a bit more worried for them. Until we live in a world where men respect women and women grow up knowing they deserve that respect, then I remain unconcerned about false allegations.*
*This rant does not exclude women who abuse others, but no one seems to be worried about false allegations against us. I guess our good names and reputation don’t matter.
To end on a slightly lighter note, “Infographic: When Should You Report a Sexual Assault Against a Supreme Court Nominee?”
The post WTF Wednesday appeared first on Running off the Reese's.