Jeepus

First off, MEGHAN MARKLE AND PRINCE HARRY ARE ENGAGED!!! Gah, I am SO HAPPY for them both. She is such a catch and I can’t wait for more royal babies (WITH AMERICAN BLOOD). After all the shittiness of 2017, I am thrilled to have something to look forward to in 2018. I just about lost it during their interview because they are SO CUTE. Meghan has such a great voice and she sounds polished, but still completely charming. I LOVE THEIR LOVE.

Back to regular programming. Last Tuesday I hopped on a late night flight and flew to Austin. I had a layover in Dallas and got to enjoy a really lovely sunrise.

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I got into Austin just before 10, and my family picked me up with a car full of treats:

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They’re not the prettiest of donuts, but they are the best. Our friend Chelsy had her third baby in August, so we stopped by to see them on our way home. I don’t know how she does it, but she has the happiest babies who turn into the sweetest kids. I really miss living just down the street from them.

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We got home Wednesday afternoon and spent the rest of the day cooking for Thanksgiving. I made mashed potatoes and a french silk pie. Sari made her big booty rolls.

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On my way home Wednesday, I saw an article about favorite sides by region (it was based on less than 1000 responses, so the results aren’t exactly generalizable to the population). The entire west was labeled as “salad” which deeply disturbed me. Why would you want salad when there are endless carby options to be enjoyed? Have you even had mashed potatoes? Or macaroni? Or cornbread dressing? Anyway, I was sharing this horrifying information with my family when my Mamaw declared that her cranberry salad was the BEST dish there. I thought my aunt was going to pass out from the shock of it.

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I’m not sure that a woman who believes that half a hot dog weenie (no bun) is a satisfactory lunch can be trusted as a judge of good food anyway.

It has been three years since we were last home for Thanksgiving, so we were thrilled to be back. It was great to see so much of our family and to be back in Texas where the dressing is properly made.

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We left just before supper time to drive to Austin to see some of my dad’s side of the family who just moved back from Georgia. I haven’t seen them since our trip to Georgia in 2013, so it was awesome that they are back home again. I was too full for leftovers, but not too full for more pie. My cousin is a fantastic cook, and it would be just plain rude to not try some of her creations. Thank God for Alka Seltzer.

We got home that evening and watched the timeless classic, Romancing the Stone.

On Friday, we drove to Belton for our tradition of lunch at Olive Garden followed by shopping for crafts at the Bell County Expo center. My Mamaw was deeply offended by how much salad they gave us (even though we ate it all), the size of the breadsticks (even though she doesn’t eat them), and how big her water glass was (it was a normal size). You cannot make her happy. We had a fun lunch, then headed out to do some shopping. I restocked my Circle E Candles collection (the Bird of Paradise is the BEST) and we enjoyed a lot of bitchy laughter at some of the items for sale. Of particular interest, why is a Jeep driving over the top of the three crosses on Calvery Hill. Why?

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That’s bizarre right? My grandmother was NOT AMUSED at all. I sent the picture to my friend, Heather, who came back with the great responses of “What Would Jeepus Do?” and “Jeepus Christ.” I added “Jeepus Take the Wheel” and we all had a good chuckle, except Mamaw. That whole thing is so wrong and inappropriate, and I don’t know what else to do but laugh at it. We got to enjoy a fantastic sunset when we got home.

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We hung out at home on Saturday watching movies and relaxing before my parents took us to the airport that night. On our way there, we stopped for dinner at Mighty Fine. Gah, I miss easy access to really good burgers. In-N-Out is fine, but that’s about it around here.

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Sari and I flew back late Saturday and got in to Sacramento just before 2 am on Sunday. Sari slept the entire flight and I couldn’t fall asleep to save my life. I don’t know how she does it!

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I slept in on Sunday, then spent the rest of the day cleaning, unpacking, and running errands.

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